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Is This It For Me? (performed by Felix Hagan)

from Jocasta: A Musical Tragedy by Louis Barabbas

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lyrics

So is this it for me?
Tell me honestly
Did my life peak
And no one was around to see?
I haven't done a thing
Not worth mentioning
My reputation's hardly glistening
Is this it for me?
Categorically?
From now on it's just the appendices?
God it's all so clear
Now the end is near
I'm doomed to disappoint and disappear
Is this it for me
Is this all the sympathy
I get as I head into eternity
What have I achieved?
No I won't believe
That there's no chance I can't still be reprieved

Where were the hands to guide me?
Why did they only push me down?

Is this it for me?
Insurmountably?
Don't these rules have some elasticity?
How will I be judged
My legacy be fudged
When my final finger print has been smudged
Is this it for me?
Terminally?
No appeal or pardon? No amnesty?
So what, I'm just some ghost
Trying to make the most
Of fighting for a place among the footnotes?

Where were the hands...

Now the clocks tick in competition
While life mauls us with its claws
We trust in the superstitions
That trip us up and make us crawl
And while Youth carried on without me
I began to lose my nerve
Then Time sold me out completely
Is this what I deserve?

On the contrary
What perversity
Where the hell's the cavalry?

Is this it for me
Will no one disagree
Or question Fate's unchallenged tyranny?
It's more than I can stand
Living a life pre-planned
And deliberately dealt a losing hand.
Is this it for me?
No apology?
By what power? What authority?
I'm held hostage by the past
The present never lasts
And now the future's coming at me fast

Where were the hands...

Do all those about to die
Feel they've never lived
Could I have been more?
Well could I?
Do more than just exist?
Why did I just accept?
Why did I never choose?
I kept all my desires in check
Now it's mate in three moves

And Destiny
Has got it in for me
Well we'll see about that now won't we.

credits

from Jocasta: A Musical Tragedy, released May 5, 2017

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Louis Barabbas Manchester, UK

Louis Barabbas is a writer, performer and firefighter, best known for caustic love songs and energetic stage shows.

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